Thursday, February 28, 2013

February Donation and Highlight


End of another month. Time to make that donation to Stand Up2 Cancer.

I ran 31.07 miles this month for cancer. I donate $.50 for each training mile and $1 for each race mile. Thanks to running 3 5k races this month I have 9.3 miles of race miles bringing the total due to $20.18, gotta round it up. February donation is $21.00

May not look like a lot yet, but I figure by the end of the year I will have donated more than if I just wrote a check today. I will also have reduced my personal risk of cancer in the process, regular exercise and proper diet are awesome cancer preventers. I love the power of fighting back, even in a small way.

I scheduled to run Kyle's Krusade virtual 5k while I was in Washington at my sister's place. I wanted to run for her while I was with her. I really wanted her to know I am committed to this, to her, and not just lip service. Before we left I printed off my racing bib and packed it with some safety pins. The day we were leaving Billy's amazing cousin Mona gifted me with a pink scarf for wear when I race. She made it just for me and my cancer races, so beautiful.

The day of the race came I felt a little self conscious, or maybe a lot. I was in an area I don't know, with more hills than home and more traffic too. I waffled on putting on the bib and the scarf, I mean it is a virtual race no one else is running with me. My sister will think I am incredibly weird wearing tights, bright pink scarf and a piece of paper pinned to my chest. Better yet I am going to be wearing this funny outfit running through her neighborhood!


I am My Sister's Runner, 100% committed to this!

I put on my funny clothes bright ruffle scarf and racing bib. I walked to the end of the driveway. Set my Garmin... And I raced.


My Bib & Scarf. Beautiful!
What I learned that day is what other people think doesn't matter. Giving all to my commitment does, and whether I race alone or in a pack I race for my sister. Next time you see someone running down the road with a piece of paper pinned to their chest they are racing, take a moment to cheer them on. We racers like the encouragement.

 

 

 

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Balancing Act


Changing up my training again. This is my first week of Triathlon training. I will be continuing the 10k training as well, just adding in beginning swimming and cycling. I will be adding to my cancer contributions as well, training money for bike miles and swim meters.

All these training plans brings me to the realization I need to learn to manage my time better. So many hats to wear: wife, mother, employee, athlete and woman. I need all of them to feel whole, I just need to learn how to balance them so no one feels shorted including me.

I learned the hard way this past year that training is vital to my well being. When we brought Addie home I stopped training. She was too little to leave home with the boys. The boys weren't ready to be babysitters. When the fishing season was over Billy was the stay at home parent, not his bliss and I needed to be there to support him in the evenings. My health deteriorated and so did my self worth.

A year later and I am just climbing out of the frumpy dumps. I know that I need to train and move to be the best me I can. And my family deserves that. My children need me to set an example of healthy living full of veggies and exercise. Billy is coming out of retirement for the year, getting a boost doing what he does best. Although he is an awesome fisherman too.

I can go to bed earlier and get up earlier, swim before work. Family night at the pool on Fridays. Bike after work, when the roads clear a bit more family bike rides would be awesome. After all the point is to finish the triathlon, so any biking is better than none.

But my runs, those will still be just for me. After all we all deserve a little time alone.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Semi Nude


No GPS yesterday, cloudy skies, wind and just being in Alaska. Living in paradise has its price. So I ran and guessed distance. I did get my time.

I was pretty tight and stiff, what usually happens when I run in the morning instead of evening. I pulled my glute a while back and it really gave me fits while I ran. So I came home feeling slow and a bit dejected. Definitely a sluggish run.

NOT

I plugged in my route and found out I went farther than I thought and ran faster too. Maybe all my long runs should be run naked. I am ten steps closer to breaking 13.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

New Bling, Happy Runner


I am such a girl, and I love it. I love clothes, shoes, jewelry and shopping. Been a great week for all.

Running has become such a part of who I am, that even my need for a retail therapy pick me up centers around it. This last week was long and draining. Doctor and family visits, no one gets away from that whole. So I needed a little retail boost.

I found a Brooks Outlet store in Seattle, my first time in a running store. I was able to pick up a bra and skirt for a price that didn’t put too much of a dent in my pocket book. Love clearance racks. Today I got my Chilly Cheeks finisher medal in the mail. I love my new bling, super cool. I wonder if it goes with a skirt and go go boots?

I think I might need a medal hangar soon. That will need to wait for another therapy day. Life is good as a Sister Runner.

 

 

Monday, February 18, 2013

Travel won't stop the race schedule


I ran my 5k this weekend for Kyle's Krusade. I was not going to let travel, doctor or family visits keep me from my race schedule. I made a commitment to run at least one race a month for Stand up 2 Cancer. I will do this.

I ran in Port Orchard, not at all familiar with the area, but I headed out with my Garmin and made it happen. More hills than I have run on, but I conserves my energy and paced myself. I finished extremely strong, which tells me that I am stronger than I thought.

More training tomorrow, I have stayed right on track. I will make my mileage this week. That rocks!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Shall I tri?


So I went to the doctor Friday, the whole reason for even coming to Seattle. I have been dreading this appointment, afraid the doctor would tell me they need to run more tests before they can figure out what to do. Things have been steadily getting worse over the last year and a half. The only thing that has kept me remotely sane the last few months is running, I hurt sitting on the sofa or lying in bed might as well run. I celebrated pulling my hamstring because it was something I did by running, not just my body quitting on me. After fatigue no amount of rest can kick, migraines, and pains akin to really bad flu, self-inflicted wounds are a welcome badge of honor.

The appointment did not start well. I got there late and didn’t check in at the right spot. If I wasn’t a basket case before, after all that running around the hospital I certainly was. Lots of questions and going over my history, a little bit of poking and prodding. “’Does this hurt?’ umm it sure doesn’t feel good.” Then comes the end of the consult where the doctor tells me he needs to see the results from my kidney biopsy a few years back. And he needs to get new blood work, because the tests he needs to see I haven’t had run since 2009. All the while my heart is sinking deeper in my chest. I just flew 3,000 miles to go home with jack of a solution.

He looked me in the eye and said, “I can fix you”. It was the most wonderful thing he could say. He need to do more testing just to know if there are things to keep an eye on for the future. But for what I am dealing with now, whether it is just Sjogren’s or if I have Lupus too. The treatment is the same. I am not being sent home empty handed. I am being sent home with a solution, and the medication is not too bad. Side effects are pretty minimal and within a month I should be feeling better.

“I can fix you” that is the most beautiful thing a doctor can say. I cannot express the weight that was lifted off me when he said that. I do not have to keep fighting with my body, we can become a team, heart mind and body.

Does this mean I tri? When the race calendar for Juneau came out for this year I noticed there was a sprint triathlon on it. Not knowing what that was I looked it up and thought gee that might be doable, and I want to do it. I posted it on Facebook looking to see if anyone was interested. Dead silence, nothing. Then one night I was talking to my daughter and she told me she was training to do it with me. I am thinking holy buckets, I haven’t started. I don’t even know if I can do this, everyday it feels like another part of my body is shutting down.

I decided if I could get help from the doctor I would do it, a way to take my body back from disease. Because let’s face is call it whatever you like, disorder disease or syndrome. At the end of the day these autoimmune things are vampires sucking the life out of you. Nephritic Syndrome and Sjogren’s Syndrome just happen to be the vampires feeding off me. Well I got the good news, the doctor is getting me some garlic and holy water, may not have a stake. But I am taking my life back, I am going to be the wife, mom and woman my family deserves. I am doing a Tri in August. Swimming, Biking and Running. The run I go nailed. The other two I know how to do, I just need to get strong enough to do it. And I will. Because I have a doctor that can fix me.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Training plans ???




No running today. I planned ahead for the travel and ran yesterday. I am sticking to this 10k training plan. But if it doesn’t get me on the road more than 3 days a week soon, I may bag it. There is a 10k March 30th I plan to run, and I really want to finish strong. Which is why I am doing this training. But I feel like it may be not a good fit for me. I really am itching to get more miles in. On the flip side I am pushing myself harder when I do get to run.

Maybe as a newbie I am not ready for the formal training plan. I am still impressed I can keep one foot pounding in front of the other for up to an hour at a time, ok the hour I have only done once. But still impressive. I get a thrill from that forward momentum, why should I limit myself to 3 days a week at a distance of some plan. Honestly my last 2 runs were longer because I couldn’t run for less than 30 minutes.

Or possibly more likely is my distaste of rules and structure. Maybe that is why I waited until after 40 to run my first mile, ever. Quite possibly the key to the plan is to use it to push me. Post the rules knowing I will have to break them. I can’t do less because running is making me feel whole. So I must do more. Which leads me to doing more than I ever thought I could…

To be fair this is only week 2 of the training plan, so it remains to be seen what my feelings will be further into the plan. It is a beginner plan, maybe it was written for someone with less than 3 months of steady running under their tights. But I am certainly not intermediate, even my fantasies won’t embrace that.

So I will keep you posted. But please feel free to give me some input as to your own training plan experience. I am running solo here, and often can get lost in my own head. While the garden is beautiful, the weeds tend to take over from time to time.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

I AM A RUNNER, PERIOD.


So often I will say I am a runner but: but, but, but. But every once in a while there comes a moment where there is no but. I am a runner, period.

This week it came in a moment while preparing for my trip to Seattle. My first concern? Even before I scheduled my doctor's appointment I was scoping out the local racing calendar. Signed up for a virtual race because I could find a local one. Mental packing list started, only items on it? Running gear clothes, shoes, racing bib, headphones, Garmin.

My next thought?  Can a squeeze in a trip to an actual running store? How would be so amazing to go through a store with nothing but running stuff. See those things I have only seen online. Is there a running store next to the commercial fishing store? Billy has his priorities too.

My priorities are definitely on the run.  I am really looking forward to running outside. The track has gotten very boring. But can't run on ice in the dark. So until the days get a little longer or the paths a little clearer here at home the track is the place to be.

I have to say this transition from the bleachers to the field is amazing. I feel so good about the road I am on. The things my body is able to do, funny how many impossible things are possible once we stop making excuses.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Being enough

Yes, yes, yes!! I had to share this, it is so part of what drives me. It is funny how we let momentary discomfort stop us from being a lifetime better. Not just in running or not running. Healthy Eating or fast food. But in how we give or don’t give of ourselves.

I am not much of a joiner, I have never shaken that just don’t fit in feeling. I have never felt like I had enough to offer. Not that I didn’t have something, just was never sure it was enough. There are always those who are happy to help me feel that way too.

What I am starting to realize is it doesn’t have to be enough for someone else. It just has to be enough for me. Funny thing is the more uncomfortable or awkward I feel doing something. The better I feel about myself when I am done.

I may not be the fastest runner, or even able to go incredible distances today. I may not be the best fundraiser either. But I am getting better at both every day. I am inspired to run farther so I can give more. I would regret doing less.

Monday, February 11, 2013

I am Wonder Woman

When I was in school there was this girl, I don't know her name we weren't in the same grade. But I remember her even today. Every day she would find an empty spot on the playground, stretch out her arms, and spin. While she spun you could hear a quiet "Wonder Woman ba-da-bup-bup-ba-da-ba". As kids we didn't appreciate her. Didn't see the magic in what she did. In those moments she was a superhero and the rest of us didn't exist, we didn't matter. She was whole and embraced who she was and in those moments she was Wonder Woman.

After years of wanting to feel that way, embrace myself and be enough. Be my own super hero. I have found it, that moment of inner peace and acceptance. I feel that when I run. I feel so good in my skin, good about who I am. I feel like Wonder Woman, on my cool down I strut like a runway model I swear. I am the sexiest woman in the world. I know it!

I realize the reality is I probably bare a closer resemblance to Fat Momma than Wonder Woman. But that is ok, Fat Momma is pretty awesome too. But it doesn't matter what everyone on the outside sees. I know who and what I am.

So if you happen to see me running down the road no need to get your eyes checked. In that moment I really am a superhero with the stride of a gazelle.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Start a blog miss a run


Isn’t that just the way. Had to go into work and get a little grocery shopping done. By the time those chores were done I was painfully exhausted. Ugh, I hate when I get dropped like that. Timing couldn’t be worse. Here I am trying to write a motivational, everyone can do it blog… And I get sidelined.

I skipped my Saturday run. It was just a 2 miler, and I have a 4 miler on Sunday, today. So I don’t feel like a total slacker. I will do the 4 miles, that is the trade off for missing the 2. I have to remind myself you can’t take the day off from cancer.

I am going to Seattle this week to see the Rheumatologist. Hopefully we can get a handle on this, the time between bad days is getting shorter. There is a part of me that is excited to get a handle on this. Then there is the part that is a bit nervous about they won’t be able to help. I need to get my head around this, and accept even if it doesn’t work I need to suck it up. I will keep running.

1 in 2 men will get cancer in their lifetime. That means one of my boys. How do I choose?

1 in 3 women. Got one of my sisters, and odds are it will get at least one of my daughters.

This is not acceptable to me. I will not take it lying down, or sitting on my butt. I don’t know why anyone would want to. My children deserve the very best and a world without cancer is the best.

That worked. I got my 4 miles in, ran the whole way too. That is huge for me, think that is the furthest I have run ever without a walk break. I need to get on the yoga, try to loosen and strengthen all those muscles that like to tighten up on me.

Billy is my bra. Sounds funny I know, don’t know that he understood the compliment either. When I think support, that one item above all that gives me the support and lift I need. It would be my bra. Because let’s face it, without it we are talking muscle pulls the kind you can’t stretch out. After all night of listening to me moan and groan, whimpering because stuff was achy. He got up the morning and pushed me out the door. He made it ok for me to go run. In the past he wanted me to take it easy, not hurt myself. It really seems he understands that running makes me feel better, even if it is just in my head. He supports me getting out there and doing it. Even if it means more whimpering at night, or a minor hamstring pull. He is there to be my Jiminy Cricket and push me out the door. I love him for that. So he is my bra, maybe not the greatest compliment to some, but to a runner wannabe like me… it is the biggest one I got.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Run for something


Running for a reason

 

 

I started running in 2011. Kind of. My world was in total chaos and I wanted to do something for someone else. Anyone else. I needed to not be me. I got a post card in the mail inviting me to take part in Team in Training for LLS. I signed up. I wasn’t really sure what I was getting into. I trained, but not as much as I wanted to or even should have.

I was never an athlete, I was always the clumsy one. Last one picked for everything. I always quit before it got too tough. My training was a bit like that. I didn’t quit, I didn’t give up. But I didn’t give in to the run all the way either. I didn’t leave it all on the track as it were. I raised the money, or my husband donated most of it. I finished the Rock n Roll half in Seattle. But I didn’t run as much as I dreamed. Self-sabotage, quit on me before my body did. I loved it, somewhere around mile 5 my brain shut off. All that chatter and self doubt went away, all the pain of the past year didn’t exist. I found the runner’s high and I liked it. Strange considering I walked half the half.

I knew I wanted to keep going, get better. But I also knew I couldn’t just do it for me. I quit on me. I needed to do it for something else. Then I learned about Team Challenge for CCFA. I have a younger sister with Crohn’s Disease, perfect fit. Signed up and started planning for the Vegas Rock n Roll. Then came Addie, beautiful grand baby in need of a home. She came to live with us. Training came to a halt. I couldn’t justify going for a run after being away from her all day. I did run in Vegas, not very good. Dehydration was icky, my kidney function was wonky. Stress fracture. Not too good.

I was grounded for 2012. Wanted to be home after work for my family. My body has gone through several flare phases, fatigue and body pains. So very exhausted and achy. So no running still. Then I realized I hurt anyway, whether I sit on the sofa or run. Why not run? But then it is just about me, and how do I take myself away from the family?

Fast forward to a few months ago, and lots of failed attempts to get back running. CANCER is back. My big sister’s cancer that is. I can’t cure cancer, not anymore than I can cure Crohn’s. But I can run, kind of. I can try to raise money too. But I can give my money too. So here I am running, not even kind of, real running. I have dedicated 2013 to kicking cancer’s can. I am donating $1 for every mile I race and $.50 for every mile I train to Stand Up 2 Cancer. Maybe it is just dollars and pennies, but it will rack up. So are my miles.

It is working too. Running for a reason is really working for me. I have managed to get at least 3 days of running in a week. I am starting a 10k training program and I am right on point. In fact I can actually run for a half hour without stopping. I have never in my life done that. The other day I actually ran through a cramp. I didn’t give up on me. I can’t. I have to do this for JoAnne. I can’t let her down, can’t be a quitter. Not this time.  I run for something.
Today is just a 2 miler, but it is a good day to run

 

 

 

 

Friday, February 8, 2013

My New Gear


My shirts came in! So excited. The buttons are very retro 80's. I had to wear one today, I was very jazzed.



How I got here

I am Theresa. I am a mom, wife and sister. My kidneys have not been perfect since 1993, but it has been manageable. I take my medicine and things are pretty stable. In 2010 it got a little shaky. Things were not so stable anymore. I even became borderline diabetic, borderline because I got my dr to postpone meds for 6 months. I got on a strict clean eating diet and regular workout routine. Dropped almost 100lbs and got all my numbers back in check. I was also diagnosed with Sjogren’s Syndrome. Ugh, really can there be anymore?

My younger sister has Crohn’s Disease, it is a crappy disease. She is definitely sicker than me. In December of 2011 I ran in Vegas to raise money for the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation. I was not much of a runner and my body wasn’t in tip top shape. But honestly it wasn’t about me. It was about her, couldn’t cure her but I could run.

2012 I didn’t do much, we became the proud parents of a beautiful grand daughter. And babies take time, she needed me home not running after work. So I thought. My body started getting out of whack again. First time I learned that Sjogren’s is a lot more of a bum kicker than just dry eyes.

Speed up to today. My older sister has cancer. It is back. I can’t cure her either, but I can run. I can raise money for the smart people that can cure her. I have a little kidney disease and an autoimmune problem. But those things won’t kill me. Not if I eat right and get my butt in shape. I don’t have cancer. So I am my Sister’s Runner, because I can run for her. I can do this little bit to make a difference.